FACING DEATH IS INEVITABLE

Facing Death 

Death is one of the most complex subjects to discuss, as no one wants to die.

My Beloved Father always said, ‘Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.’

I do not fear death, but I fear suffering. 

There was a time in my late teens when I was facing death; I was so ill, weak and wasting away because the GP refused to see that I was unable to eat, drink or swallow. 

It was only when my Father intervened and my grandmother, who was a casualty nurse at the time, took me to the hospital, where I was immediately admitted and put on a drip. 

I will never forget that time of suffering as I had an abscess on my tonsils, which was painful and prevented me from being able to talk.

This was the first time I faced death. If I had not been brought in at this time, I would have died of starvation.

I remember how skinny I was, and you could see the fluid running through my veins.

This was a moment of facing death without a choice, whereas for 40-odd years, I had been planning my demise because of my depression.

Six suicide attempts and being hospitalised.

Today, I have every reason to want to live. I have my family and relatives, as well as friends both within and outside the fellowship. 

I have been through five cancer pathways in the last two years and did not want to die.

I found myself saying to the medical professionals, ‘I have tried to die throughout my life, but now I want to live, and I might be dying.’

Fortunately, to date, I have a treatable disease if I make life changes and I am mindful of what I eat.

I worked in a Hospice as a complementary therapist for ten years, and I have lost many people throughout that journey.

The last of my patients was a lovely Sri Lankan guy who died two years ago, and I did his eulogy.

Death is a part of life, and eventually, one day, we are all going to meet our maker.

When I lost my Beloved Father, it took me a long time to accept that he was gone. I cried and cursed God for allowing him to suffer from cancer and not heal him.

I would have given my life for my Father, but that is not the way things go.

His death seemed so final, and yet eight years on, in March, my family went to the Caribbean to honour him by burying his ashes on his father's land. 

I felt at peace, but then another wave of emotions got me as if he had only died yesterday.

At the same time, I was relieved that they honoured his promise even though it was later. I believe that he is free.

To date, I have been to three funerals this year, and I have another to attend tomorrow. 

I also noticed a lot of people are dying from cancer, brain aneurysms and heart attacks.

There are also many parents burying their children through knife crime.

I can only say from experience for those whom I have cared for that they have been prepared in their minds for death, but they try to make it easier for the living by putting on a brave face.

Who knows what goes through the mind of someone who has been given a short time to live?

If they must suffer, death would be welcome.

Death is one thing that is guaranteed in life. Your age does not matter.

I am a Death Doula. I support people on their final transition on this earth in a way that makes them unafraid.

The way we view death is with fear and sadness because we have lost someone we loved, and they are no longer around. We have doubts even in our faith that there is an afterlife and that death is the end.

My Father, when he was diagnosed with cancer and was told it was incurable but treatable, held on to life throughout; even through his suffering, he believed that he could beat the disease.

He only accepted his fate when the consultant told him his time was short; even then, on the hospital bed, he seemed lively.

But from the time he had been told it was a day or so after, his health had declined.

I always wondered what was going on in his head when he knew he was going to die. 

He was sad that he was leaving his wife and children behind and that he would never be revisiting his country.

It is soul-destroying knowing that your time is short. But throughout the two years and nine months, my Father fought hard; he even visited the Caribbean regularly and for the last time three months before his death.

I felt that it should have been me lying on the hospital bed because I had tried so hard to destroy my life in many ways.

My Father always said he never wanted to get to old age and that he was okay with ‘three score and ten’, but he got a one-year bonus on top.

After my Father’s death, I got my life in order with my estate and my will set up. I never planned on sticking around; I wanted to be with him.

It was not until eighteen months after my Fathers death that I found I had a purpose in life.  It was by the grace of God that I put down the alcohol and drugs and, since then, have never turned back.

I can say that if God were to take me today, I have lived a good life over the past few years, during which I have written and published nine books and received eighteen certificates in the fields of psychology and wellness. 

I have surrendered everything to God and have reclaimed my relationship with him.

I am at a stage in my life now where I take each day at a time and show God gratitude for allowing me to see another day before I go to bed, thanking Him for that day before my head hits the pillow.

I have started to bond with my Mother and siblings with a fresh new understanding and have let go of all the resentments that I burdened myself with.

So, when my time comes to meet my maker, I can say that I have lived the best years of my life.

I may not be rich, and I have not yet found a companion, but I am in no hurry to make any mistakes in haste.

I have my mental health challenges and the degeneration of my neck, but I can be thankful that I am still able to walk, talk and share my story with others.

How I see death is that from the time we are born, we are on a journey of life that will eventually lead us to death. 

Once I made peace with God and myself, I no longer feel afraid of what is to come.

If I continue to do the right things, I will have peace in my life and fewer regrets. 

In everything, there must be a balance.

Natalie M Bleau

Scripture of Balance